Saturday, August 21, 2010

A killer among us...well, just me.

Jolee Ruth....good golly if I survive her toddler years, it will in fact make headline news. 13 months old tomorrow, but I feel as if I've known her all my life. 19 pounds of energy that storms through the house creating major chaos. How can such a tiny, beautiful, blonde bundle of love make me want to run outside clutching my chest hoping someone drives by and takes me away? HAHAHA....that was a fake laugh. I am afraid of her. She might, just might, actually kill me one day.

It could be her incredibly sharp fingernails that grow long overnight slashing my face, or her super(tiny)human clenching fists ripping apart my neck, or she might bash her head into my face one too many times. She really is going to kill me. And I really am afraid of her. ;)

If this is already happening at 12 months and 30 days, what the heck am I going to do at age 2? Age 12? and seriously, How could I ever make it out of age 16? I don't think I can. I would chalk it up to her being "aggressive" if it happened to anyone else. But at a park with a bunch of other tots, she will lovingly hold onto and rub my leg. She will hold her hands up and say "Mama, puh" (up)...she won't dare touch any other child...She occassionally pushes her back into James, and once or twice has struck Jarrod, but Me? Come on, it's a daily thing...I get smacked, squeezed, pinched, and even laughed at, every single darn day.

I should have just asked the Dr. to put her back in when she came out screaming (with a cord wrapped twice around her neck) did she even get a scream out? If I didn't ask then, I most surely should have asked as the TWO nurses tried to pry her tiny little hand off her cord. I saw that death grip then...Should have known.

My Mom laughs when I call her saying "Mom, this girl is going to kill me." She thinks it hilarious when I walk out of the room and she hears Jolee scream for me. "Ma! Ma!"...She thinks it's cute. I was a raging lunatic of a baby, but I loved my Mother. I would scream for her because I always had to be near in that sense, Jolee is definitely "her mother's child"...but I think her intentions are a BIT different.

And I wonder how cute my Mom will think it is when she sees me on a clip on the news laying on the floor with a phone in my hand and Jolee standing over my lifeless body? Cute Mom?

I will win this battle one day though....When some handsome young gentleman comes to us asking for her hand in marriage, I will be the first to say "Of course you can marry my daughter", all the while thinking, "Now I'll watch for that clip of YOU on the news buddy."

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