I'm about as crazy as they come...

I am just going to go out on a limb and say it....I barely sleep through one night a week and we actually have a Dr.'s appt planned for preconception counseling. You heard it. We want another baby. None of it makes sense. I just knew, every time I wanted to "try" for a baby, that THAT was the right time...and I feel it again...and of course, Jarrod is on board...Having a baby to him, is just another thing we do round these parts, haha! Kidding....but yeah, it makes no sense....I barely function now because Jolee is beyond high maintenance...but we thrive on chaos, always have.....so why start trying to make life easy now right?

I need advice though...and I guess since this is my blog I can be up front and tell you what kind of advice I want and the kind that makes me cringe that I will never listen to....I need advice on how to help my 4 year old son stay in his bed all night. He goes to bed ok, but he used to go to bed and stay asleep amazingly! Now, not so much...the scaries seem to have entered his mind. He rarely watches anything but educational shows but for some reason he is "scared of the dark" and "scared of monsters"...I've tried a lot of things and he is starting to go down fine on his own but there are some nights where he panics and I have to lay with him until he falls asleep....I would suffer through that if he stayed asleep but why on earth is he getting up EVERY night at 2-3am? Literally EVERY night for months...I need to get it to stop because we are starting to plan for baby 3 and I cannot suffer through newborn/2 year old/4 year old night drama!

I am more of an attachment parent though...so cry it out advice, don't give it....I don't let my children cry for very long....and I don't lock kids in rooms, or add barriers to keep them in their rooms because James often goes potty at night and I don't want to have him having accidents. I like comforting, nuturing, caring methods...those are the only ones I will try....So maybe there are no tips for people like me then huh? ;) We have a great routine and our nighttime routine is very structured but I just can't get him to STAY asleep! Any ideas?

I wish I had a real life homeschool friend.

I need someone to share my joys with now, and maybe troubles or frustrations later. We are only 2 days in and I am sooooo happy with our decision to take this on. I don't know who is going to learn more, me or the kids....It's so fun to actually see what their faces look like when they "get" something. Listening to James retell me a story he learned (one without pictures) is just amazing. Watching the "ah-ha" moments....and getting to lay on the couch with silky (yes, silky blanket is still a major part of his life) and read our first bible story about creation...hearing James say "God made the sky and called it heaven, and the sheep and the rats Mom"....And cracking up that yes indeed God made the rats but really, have you ever even seen a rat? haha....

Fun fun. I never really knew how much James really has absorbed these 4 years, but it is all coming out so clearly now and I feel so blessed to be providing this for him. I have no idea what each day will bring, but that is also fun. Yesterday we got an earlier start and things did not go so well. After we waited a few hours for James to get some energy out, he breezed through our activities for the day. So today, we started later and had such a great time! Like Mama, James is not a morning person. And we get to save an activity for Daddy to teach at bedtime, which is even better! Daddy gets in on school too! Love it, so much!

So on the agenda for the fall (once school here starts), we have storytime at the Library, preschool gym, homeschool ice skating, hockey and potentially karate for some discipline training.....but for now we are diving into our school curriculum early to start next summer early....and to get an idea of how well this will work! Stay tuned for the ups and downs of homeschool pre-k!

A killer among us...well, just me.

Jolee Ruth....good golly if I survive her toddler years, it will in fact make headline news. 13 months old tomorrow, but I feel as if I've known her all my life. 19 pounds of energy that storms through the house creating major chaos. How can such a tiny, beautiful, blonde bundle of love make me want to run outside clutching my chest hoping someone drives by and takes me away? HAHAHA....that was a fake laugh. I am afraid of her. She might, just might, actually kill me one day.

It could be her incredibly sharp fingernails that grow long overnight slashing my face, or her super(tiny)human clenching fists ripping apart my neck, or she might bash her head into my face one too many times. She really is going to kill me. And I really am afraid of her. ;)

If this is already happening at 12 months and 30 days, what the heck am I going to do at age 2? Age 12? and seriously, How could I ever make it out of age 16? I don't think I can. I would chalk it up to her being "aggressive" if it happened to anyone else. But at a park with a bunch of other tots, she will lovingly hold onto and rub my leg. She will hold her hands up and say "Mama, puh" (up)...she won't dare touch any other child...She occassionally pushes her back into James, and once or twice has struck Jarrod, but Me? Come on, it's a daily thing...I get smacked, squeezed, pinched, and even laughed at, every single darn day.

I should have just asked the Dr. to put her back in when she came out screaming (with a cord wrapped twice around her neck)...how did she even get a scream out? If I didn't ask then, I most surely should have asked as the TWO nurses tried to pry her tiny little hand off her cord. I saw that death grip then...Should have known.

My Mom laughs when I call her saying "Mom, this girl is going to kill me." She thinks it hilarious when I walk out of the room and she hears Jolee scream for me. "Ma! Ma!"...She thinks it's cute. I was a raging lunatic of a baby, but I loved my Mother. I would scream for her because I always had to be near her....so in that sense, Jolee is definitely "her mother's child"...but I think her intentions are a BIT different.

And I wonder how cute my Mom will think it is when she sees me on a clip on the news laying on the floor with a phone in my hand and Jolee standing over my lifeless body? Cute Mom?

I will win this battle one day though....When some handsome young gentleman comes to us asking for her hand in marriage, I will be the first to say "Of course you can marry my daughter", all the while thinking, "Now I'll watch for that clip of YOU on the news buddy."