Rocking in my chair....

I just spent the last hour looking at pictures of my babies. Not pictures from this month, or even this year...but Jolee's birth, James' third birthday, my pregnancies...and I remember it all. I remember my feelings while pregnant with James...I was clueless. I was elated....I really had no idea how amazing motherhood could be....and then seeing pictures from Jolee's birth...I remember EVERY single night of my pregnancy praying I'd meet my baby one day. I remember rocking in the rocking chair I used with James, begging God for this baby....and running outside late one night in Georgia, begging for her life....I remember holding James in that very same rocker after we said goodbye to Jack, and sitting in that chair alone having no words for Jesus after I said goodbye to Baby Hope....ah, that sweet sweet rocking chair. It's as if it has become a part of me....Over the past 5 years I have spent many sweet moments in that chair....it's been spit up on, probably pooped on ;), reupholstered (thankfully), and loved...I sang "Old McDonald" to James in it when I rocked him to sleep for 2 years. I read pregnancy magazines and "What to Expect" books there. I read "Pregnancy after loss" there. I read countless psalms there as well....I have no idea why I even thought of my chair tonight....but for now, this pretty red rocking chair with the Ladybug blanket on it is used for me and my girl. My little blonde ladybug...My little tiny miracle girl....Every night, and every nap, of every day, we sing Amazing Grace...it's the only song she'll fall asleep to...She puts her hand in the air while I sing...just like she does in church on Sunday mornings...and now in my chair....the words come easy...

Thank you Jesus ;)