A full night of sleep....

I finally got one! Jolee and I have kinda been coming back from colds so it was sooooo amazing to actually have to wake her up this morning to get out of the house for Storytime! She is even napping right now as I sip my first cup of coffee for the day!

I did want to finally update a bit on the kiddos and life in chilly Vermont! I can't believe that we are already having 30 degree nights! I am trying to conserve the propane before the winter hits but do break down and run the heat at night. There is only so many blanket sleepers and covers I can keep the kids under! Vermont is gorgeous. I think my heart will secretly always long to be here. I love it. My kids are so happy here and so are J and I. We walk to our neighbors farm to pet some sheep and get eggs from the hens. James is so carefree here! He has developed an almost unhealthy obsession with all things farm. I don't know if trains have the number one spot in his life anymore! Can you believe it? So this year, it's all farm. He even wears a farm hat and calls himself "Farmer Jed" at times! (Farmer Jed is a character in a few of our books)....

Homeschool is coming along well, although we don't stress too much about it. Even kindergarten will be a bit lax here....James knows most of what is taught in kindergarten so we are working more on life skills like listening, obeying, proper tone in different situations, personal space, chores, telling time, counting, and those sorts of things. He has come very close to closing the gap with his speech delay. We are no longer getting help for it and he is rapidly improving. We don't notice much of a difference between him and his friends/other littles. He does talk a ton more than most kids so we are working on getting him to slow down and let others speak...but heck, I am still working on that for myself!

Jolee is a tiny firecracker! She is a world different than James was and is. She has an attitude like you wouldn't believe, yet she is a snuggly little Mama's girl. She loves music, rocking with Mama, being carried in a sling, strolling, her sleep-time baba's, her pacis, and all things girly. She loves wearing the shoes of everyone in the house! Her tutu collection has grown to 4, and she twirls away in them! I can't believe how well she sits at times for me to read to her, to do her hair, or just allow me to hold her. I never got that with Jamesie! Off the top of my head she says, Mama, Dada, Baba, Up, down, ow-side, Dah! (James), dog, dog (we have 2), yum, ball, uhs sat? (what's that?) and I am sure a few more. She is very vocal and doesn't babble as much as James did, but is trying to make words for things! Too fun!. She loves taking her Cabbage Patch doll on walks around the house in its stroller...and often takes the baby out by the hair, kisses its mouth, and tosses it aside to run faster with the stroller! Love it!

We had family in town and visited an amazing Vermont working farm. I will definitely be getting a membership next year for our family. There was sooooo much to do, and it was very hands-on for kiddos! Had a ball.

Jarrod is well into his master's degree and working very hard at it. He has gotten all A's, but spends a ton of time on schoolwork. I can't wait to see him graduate in the summer! He is also still loving his job here and I am sure will miss it when our time is up. We have been attending a lovely church since May and have developed quite a few great friendships. We are very involved at church and even sponsor ROTC students on Sundays. It is fun to bring a group of kids back to eat, watch football, and let them call home, sleep, and just get away. I am so glad that our church families know the importance of that for college students. Jarrod took advantage of that at the Naval Academy too!

We spend our weekends keeping warm, watching a TON of football thanks to the NFL ticket, and just enjoying lots of family time! I need to posts some pictures on here soon but never can find the time! Hope everyone is well, and getting ready for fall! We sure are in it here!

I'm about as crazy as they come...

I am just going to go out on a limb and say it....I barely sleep through one night a week and we actually have a Dr.'s appt planned for preconception counseling. You heard it. We want another baby. None of it makes sense. I just knew, every time I wanted to "try" for a baby, that THAT was the right time...and I feel it again...and of course, Jarrod is on board...Having a baby to him, is just another thing we do round these parts, haha! Kidding....but yeah, it makes no sense....I barely function now because Jolee is beyond high maintenance...but we thrive on chaos, always have.....so why start trying to make life easy now right?

I need advice though...and I guess since this is my blog I can be up front and tell you what kind of advice I want and the kind that makes me cringe that I will never listen to....I need advice on how to help my 4 year old son stay in his bed all night. He goes to bed ok, but he used to go to bed and stay asleep amazingly! Now, not so much...the scaries seem to have entered his mind. He rarely watches anything but educational shows but for some reason he is "scared of the dark" and "scared of monsters"...I've tried a lot of things and he is starting to go down fine on his own but there are some nights where he panics and I have to lay with him until he falls asleep....I would suffer through that if he stayed asleep but why on earth is he getting up EVERY night at 2-3am? Literally EVERY night for months...I need to get it to stop because we are starting to plan for baby 3 and I cannot suffer through newborn/2 year old/4 year old night drama!

I am more of an attachment parent though...so cry it out advice, don't give it....I don't let my children cry for very long....and I don't lock kids in rooms, or add barriers to keep them in their rooms because James often goes potty at night and I don't want to have him having accidents. I like comforting, nuturing, caring methods...those are the only ones I will try....So maybe there are no tips for people like me then huh? ;) We have a great routine and our nighttime routine is very structured but I just can't get him to STAY asleep! Any ideas?

I wish I had a real life homeschool friend.

I need someone to share my joys with now, and maybe troubles or frustrations later. We are only 2 days in and I am sooooo happy with our decision to take this on. I don't know who is going to learn more, me or the kids....It's so fun to actually see what their faces look like when they "get" something. Listening to James retell me a story he learned (one without pictures) is just amazing. Watching the "ah-ha" moments....and getting to lay on the couch with silky (yes, silky blanket is still a major part of his life) and read our first bible story about creation...hearing James say "God made the sky and called it heaven, and the sheep and the rats Mom"....And cracking up that yes indeed God made the rats but really, have you ever even seen a rat? haha....

Fun fun. I never really knew how much James really has absorbed these 4 years, but it is all coming out so clearly now and I feel so blessed to be providing this for him. I have no idea what each day will bring, but that is also fun. Yesterday we got an earlier start and things did not go so well. After we waited a few hours for James to get some energy out, he breezed through our activities for the day. So today, we started later and had such a great time! Like Mama, James is not a morning person. And we get to save an activity for Daddy to teach at bedtime, which is even better! Daddy gets in on school too! Love it, so much!

So on the agenda for the fall (once school here starts), we have storytime at the Library, preschool gym, homeschool ice skating, hockey and potentially karate for some discipline training.....but for now we are diving into our school curriculum early to start next summer early....and to get an idea of how well this will work! Stay tuned for the ups and downs of homeschool pre-k!

A killer among us...well, just me.

Jolee Ruth....good golly if I survive her toddler years, it will in fact make headline news. 13 months old tomorrow, but I feel as if I've known her all my life. 19 pounds of energy that storms through the house creating major chaos. How can such a tiny, beautiful, blonde bundle of love make me want to run outside clutching my chest hoping someone drives by and takes me away? HAHAHA....that was a fake laugh. I am afraid of her. She might, just might, actually kill me one day.

It could be her incredibly sharp fingernails that grow long overnight slashing my face, or her super(tiny)human clenching fists ripping apart my neck, or she might bash her head into my face one too many times. She really is going to kill me. And I really am afraid of her. ;)

If this is already happening at 12 months and 30 days, what the heck am I going to do at age 2? Age 12? and seriously, How could I ever make it out of age 16? I don't think I can. I would chalk it up to her being "aggressive" if it happened to anyone else. But at a park with a bunch of other tots, she will lovingly hold onto and rub my leg. She will hold her hands up and say "Mama, puh" (up)...she won't dare touch any other child...She occassionally pushes her back into James, and once or twice has struck Jarrod, but Me? Come on, it's a daily thing...I get smacked, squeezed, pinched, and even laughed at, every single darn day.

I should have just asked the Dr. to put her back in when she came out screaming (with a cord wrapped twice around her neck)...how did she even get a scream out? If I didn't ask then, I most surely should have asked as the TWO nurses tried to pry her tiny little hand off her cord. I saw that death grip then...Should have known.

My Mom laughs when I call her saying "Mom, this girl is going to kill me." She thinks it hilarious when I walk out of the room and she hears Jolee scream for me. "Ma! Ma!"...She thinks it's cute. I was a raging lunatic of a baby, but I loved my Mother. I would scream for her because I always had to be near her....so in that sense, Jolee is definitely "her mother's child"...but I think her intentions are a BIT different.

And I wonder how cute my Mom will think it is when she sees me on a clip on the news laying on the floor with a phone in my hand and Jolee standing over my lifeless body? Cute Mom?

I will win this battle one day though....When some handsome young gentleman comes to us asking for her hand in marriage, I will be the first to say "Of course you can marry my daughter", all the while thinking, "Now I'll watch for that clip of YOU on the news buddy."

Rocking in my chair....

I just spent the last hour looking at pictures of my babies. Not pictures from this month, or even this year...but Jolee's birth, James' third birthday, my pregnancies...and I remember it all. I remember my feelings while pregnant with James...I was clueless. I was elated....I really had no idea how amazing motherhood could be....and then seeing pictures from Jolee's birth...I remember EVERY single night of my pregnancy praying I'd meet my baby one day. I remember rocking in the rocking chair I used with James, begging God for this baby....and running outside late one night in Georgia, begging for her life....I remember holding James in that very same rocker after we said goodbye to Jack, and sitting in that chair alone having no words for Jesus after I said goodbye to Baby Hope....ah, that sweet sweet rocking chair. It's as if it has become a part of me....Over the past 5 years I have spent many sweet moments in that chair....it's been spit up on, probably pooped on ;), reupholstered (thankfully), and loved...I sang "Old McDonald" to James in it when I rocked him to sleep for 2 years. I read pregnancy magazines and "What to Expect" books there. I read "Pregnancy after loss" there. I read countless psalms there as well....I have no idea why I even thought of my chair tonight....but for now, this pretty red rocking chair with the Ladybug blanket on it is used for me and my girl. My little blonde ladybug...My little tiny miracle girl....Every night, and every nap, of every day, we sing Amazing Grace...it's the only song she'll fall asleep to...She puts her hand in the air while I sing...just like she does in church on Sunday mornings...and now in my chair....the words come easy...

Thank you Jesus ;)

Letting some things go....

Summer camp only worked for 1 day. I cried the second and third day as I had to chase James down as he ran to my car. I did the best I could but he stayed with me those days....I am learning to embrace James' quirks and understand that I too was a quirky kiddo. There may/may not be something else to it but we are embracing our children and doing with them, what makes THEM happy. We may be dealing with a little something else by way of social/emotional things but James is James and I love that about him. :)

This summer I am going to take a little time away from hectic things...less time running to "events" or organized things and spending a bit more time watching my half dressed kids drip popsicles on themselves on my porches. Because really, when you look back on your childhood, do you remember the number of times Mommy took you to this or that, or do you remember Mommy on the porch with you? Do you remember that you sat quietly in a circle listening to stories at the library or do you remember Mommy making shadow animals on the wall and telling you about "Going on a bear hunt"...Every night James says "Mommy, we going on a bear hunt?" as I read to him in bed...He never says, "Mommy are we going to storytime tomorrow?"....Ah, my sweet boy :)